;A; my~ you guys all seem so tallented! I still have a few things left to read, as I am a slow poke and all that~
But I wanted to share this with you~
It's called "The Waiting" and it's not mine; it's written by my ex-girlfriend. I absolutely love this story and I thought you might like it as well, so here~
Also, please excuse the mistakes, since english isn't her native language~ :3
"waiting for the bus?"
i looked up from the book with a surprised expression on my face, when you stood suddenly next to me. i didn't notice anyone, totally caught by the lines of this story, so no wonder that you came like from heaven for me.
what the...? there you stood, with this fragile smile on your lips, mysterious and difficult to read. your dark hair was bound to a ponytail, a red and screaming bag at your right side.
i think i looked like a fish trying to catch some air, trying to speak, but no words came out through my lips. it's not like you gave me the time to put myself together, when you suddenly took my hand out of nowhere. small fingers grabbing for mine, warm and hot.
this silent whisper reached my ear like a blow of the wind, when your eyes met mine like a lightning is meets a tree. it wasn't a meeting - to be honest, it was more like something electrical went through me...
..when my feet started to move.
you turned around, still your fingers touching mine in a non-letting-go hold. it's not like i tried out to escape you. how can i escape a magnet, when my soul is made out of stardust...?
my feet were moving without any control, just following you, your steps, your way of walking. as you wish. your rhythm. left right, left right, a little bit faster, then slower. and in between you just stopped for a second, to turn around, to look at me, to smile - and to move again forward.
i wanted to speak. i wanted to ask you questions my lips never told me how to ask. "where do you want to go with me?", "why are you here?", "do you know me?". but everytime you stopped to smile at me, my mind was burned down and all i could do was - to smile.
sometimes, when my head worked, i could notice that we are not on streets anymore. that we are not going to another bus station. that this is grass, that this is a park. that there is you. and still your warm and gentle fingers around mine like we used to walk this way million times before.
and then you turned around with a sigh, a little bit tumbling towards me, so i had the wish just to hold you up. your eyes are invisible for me, secretly hidden behind a deep and dark forest of eyelashes. your hair smelled like peaches, when your head fell on my chest.
and still the fingers holding mine.
"a-are we...are we w-we there?"
my voice seemed to be broken somehow, unstable and insecure. i didn't know where you would lead me to, i didn't even know what i was doing here. why i went with you. but maybe these fingers, your fingers, your way of being ..maybe this all was too attractive.
i saw your head slowly shaking followed by a quiet sighing.
"we are not deep enough, not hidden enough to let you eat my soul."
"what are you talking about..?"
your finger let go of me. oh no, don't do that. don't take your fingers away from mine.
but there, they come back, crawling up my shirt up to my face, running like raindrops over my face.
"oh, no need anymore. i think you can have it right here."
and then you did it. you just took my face between your fingers, and every fingertip burned on my skin like a secret sign forever. i think i can never let go of this feeling of warm fingers. of your fingers.
like the wind you moved forward to my face, just to barley touch my lips with yours. i can't even say it was a kiss, because i felt like you just touched me gently. you opened your mouth, and i could smell the sweet scent of fruit bubblegum. you pressed your lips on mine, and i was sure to taste the fruits later on, when you were already gone after all.
maybe it isn't worth telling someone, and maybe your warm fingers just took my mind away...maybe i just fantasized, but still - i had the feeling, i got a part of you in me after this.
when you moved backwards, i had the feeling to lose something important, and then it were my fingers moving forward to you, grabbing your shirt, with a silent "no" on my lips.
"why...?" i asked with a lack of breath. i had the feeling it was her taking my breath away, and not me taking hers.
she seems to hesitate, even to struggle with herself, before this magnificient smile came back on her face. her hands moved to mine, warm and soft touching them, but still removing from her own shirt.
"you will never miss me then anymore..."
she pulled my fingers to her lips, kissed them like for a last goodbye. i knew i won't feel her warm skin today again...
"but what if...?"
she didn't answer, just smiled again and asked me again.
"waiting for the bus?"
and i didn't want to let go of her. i felt like she was shortly before disappearing again. and maybe forever. what did she mean with that? maybe i got a part of her soul, maybe this was special. but it wasn't enough. you can't come into my life, give me all that new feelings and then just go. you can't, you are not allowed, i don't want that.
and so i reached out my hands for you, pulled her like a strong storm is pulling and taking a tree out of its roots...wanting, needing, holding, keeping forever.
"not anymore", i whispered with this same smile she gave me the last seconds, minutes, maybe hours.
and i think she fell.
- but i don't think it hurt.
...i missed the bus, and the next, but i stopped waiting for it.