I need to vent this out a bit.

Oh fine, I'm obsessed with him. I'm not denying. I'm so obsessed with him, it gets scary, I sometimes think.

Yesterday, I just finished watching Deathly Hallows Part 2 from a DVD borrowed from a friend (yes, I didn't go to the movies then because I had exams) with my mother and sister, after which I decided to go help my mother in the Kitchen. You see, I have this peculiar.... disorder, you can say. After I watch a movie, be it good or bad, it gets stuck in my head for the rest of the day - all the theme songs, punchlines, attack scenes which got recorded while watching, begins to repeat. And then with whomever having the unfortunate disadvantage of being anywhere within ten meters away from me, I start to say whatever is in my mind about the movie, and this usually lasts to 2 hours or so.

So, obviously this time, while washing the dishes, I was talking about Harry Potter, and it of course, lead to talking about my favorite character - Draco Malfoy. Yes, I like him very much. I like his evil, sneering yet cowardly behavior and most of all I like Felton, who portrayed him in the movies. He just so fitted into the role, that once I saw him in the 6th film, my infatuation for him grew larger.

I begged my mother to take me to 'Rise of the Planet of the Apes' movie that released around last fall, even though both of us hated that sort of genre (monkeys, failed chemistry experiments which leads to the evolution of the said species) but it was all just to see Tom Felton there. And then, when I started to talk about him yesterday (also with the addition of a new fact that he was going to act in another movie), my mother had the last straw. She made fun of me, saying that I was showing all the symptoms of an obsessive fangirlish stalker like that of Belarus. She didn't stop teasing me about it until I went to sleep.

I didn't give much thought to it then. Even though it was only my mother, and not any of my obnoxious friends, who made fun of me, now I couldn't help but think. Was I really obsessive? I check every month on his page in Wikipedia, whether he was appointed for a new movie or a new song and stuff. I can't keep my eyes off him whenever he comes on TV. I think, I had like a 100 fanfiction plots in my head concerning Malfoy with any character that I like in any fandom (but I don't do OCs I hate Mary-Sues >.>)

Hmm, well that pretty much ends my rant. Conclusion : Beware! Insane Fangirl roaming about Shuu looking for someone to stalk....

Well one thing is for sure. No matter how much you love him, you will never have him. That's as long as this love goes. It will remain a crush.

Wait does that mean you stalk me daily?!?!? .... yieks!

I know that. It's as impossible as Kyuubey jumping in front of me asking for a contract.

Of course I stalk you~ You're my personal brand of heroin <333 (Get the joke?)

YIEKS! KDEMNFKAMNDKfmnakdmnf

My day so far: Being stalked while searching stuff.

Tensa: *hides behind a door with a knob scared* GO AWAY, ALICE!!

Me: *creepy aura and jerks the doorknob away* TENSA-KUN, the stupid doorknob is gone.... Now let's get married, married, married....

Vent ahead. Highlight too read?
I love my life. I have a son and a beautiful wife. Life has been chaotic though.

Meagan refuses too kiss me, touch me, anything. A few nights ago I wanted her too cuddle me. Mason was asleep in his room, and if he wok up in a fuss or needed Meagan too feed him or me too clean him we would hear. Baby walkie talkies are a Godsend. I wrap my arms around her and she rolls away. I run my fingers through her hair and she slaps my hand. Last, I tried kissing her neck and cheek. She rubbed her shoulder against her head so I left her alone. I ask if shes okay and she just frowns. She said she misses the other baby. He was a still born. I mentioned before she had conception issues. I held her, but ctied with her. I tried too tell her that Mason is a miracle and too let go. She feels better but she won't stop crying. I am at work. When I get home I am taking her anf Mason too the fair. It is a surprise. I hooe she will feel better.

I'm glad everything is going well for you Aizawa with your new little boy. Although, I'm sorry your wife is feeling down. You know, her body is just going through some changes right now. With just recently having a baby, her hormones are going nuts I'm sure. Also postpartum depression is very common. However, I believe it goes away on its own after awhile. Still, if she continues to feel down and sad, you should ask the doctor about it. Or perhaps see a psychologist?

I'm sure she's just tired and just needs some time to relax. If she doesn't want to be cuddled, then just leave her alone for awhile. Just let her know you are there for her and that everything will be okay. It's a new and exciting chapter in your life! ^^ I'm sure you will cheer her up and that she will be feeling better soon. I wish you two and your baby the best! Take care.

What Hopey said!
I believe one of my cousins had a postpartum depression, but she's fine now.
I heard that women feel very unpretty after giving birth, so that could be another thing to add to her bad mood.
It's normal for her to miss the other baby... This will bug her for the rest of her life, unfortunately :/ But all we can do in such situations is to stay strong and move on. She's just really fragile right now, so it will take her a while. But since you're always there for her, I am certain that you and her both will pass through this phase she is going through. You guys make a beautiful family (: I can tell just by the things you have told us.
I hope you guys have fun at the fair!
sending hugs and kisses to your family <3

I'm finally done with my math courses. No driving 88 miles to go to school now, since most of my classes will be online now. I passed them both with a B, too. So, I will, hopefully, be able to be more active. Even though, when I was busy I made sure to sign in and check around for new stuff.

I'm very happy right now. Math is my worse subject and I got through it Anyway. I love shuu, but sometimes I come across some awesome boy pics. Does anyone know a good guy website to go to?

Zerochan.net allows you to post boy images.

I start classes tomorrow...It sucks because I've been really depressed lately. I hope I can get my AA this semester, but I have to talk with my counselor. Fingers crossed. The plan is to transfer to a University.

How can a day of good things and good progress turn bad? Like this:

I am planning to cosplay Rubicante from Final Fantasy IV on a convention in less than a week. So naturally it's a crunch time for me. I still need to do lots of stuff and I bought all the items I needed yesterday. Including a papermaché mask I needed to paint and modify. I was working on it for roughly an hour and when the paint dried, I tried it on. So I checked it and I edited it some more.
After that, I made a list on what more to get to finish him.
Just for progress sake(In London MCM Expo you need progress pictures if you want to join the Masquerade and I don't know if I or a group will join with me), I took a picture of me with the mask on and put it on Twitter and Facebook. The first reply was from a dear friend (mind you, this person was ready for me when I needed it.) saying I look scary and I "Need to go away".

This shocked me. I mean, I don't see myself as a good cosplayer (There are some way better then I am that I personally know, and some of they even are rooting for me) and with me being pretty insecure about cosplaying (Body and size), I feel that I was brought down. Sure I can't sew for the life of me, but I always try and make my character look look in other ways like poses and voice. This just screwed up my evening. And even though it's a "joke", I think I have a right to get mad at the person. But then...I feel that I will break or at least damage a friendship.

In other news of me, I have applied at diffrent job agencies that specialize in IT. And I have applied for unemployment benefits, so that I at least have SOME money to keep myself afloat.
And I may be moving to another city.

Well, that's all about me.

I hope you get over your depression, soon and good luck

Fhant, I've seen pics from you with the member's pics and I think you look fine! Your body and size isn't a problem and whoever thinks it is needs to go get their priorities straight. I know jokes can sometimes hurt peoples' feelings, but if they didn't really mean that then you shouldn't take it to heart. Whenever I look at your cosplaying images it brings a smile to my face.

Do you guys remember your first love? I sure as hell remember mine. He still means a lot to me, and he was my best friend.
I love him so much. The only problem with me is that I tend to get overly jealous whenever he gets a new girlfriend. I know that I will never be "his girl" and that it's only a fantasy I keep playing over and over in my head. I can't help it. He's the only guy I know that looks at me as a girl, and not just a sack of lard. I just want that fantasy to be real, but I know that it's never going to happen. ...Well, one of my fantasies is to just find someone to love me for who I am, but I don't think that's going to happen either.

Okay, I need some advice. I met a guy online through a online game, and I guess I was a little too flirty with him, and led him on a bit. But I have since then told him multiple times I only want to be friends. He just goes "It's okay, because we are friends", but he doesn't seem to get it. He keeps messaging me like "Hi honey" or "*kiss*" whenever he sees me on Facebook. I tell him to stop it and he's like "oh but it's only because I love you!" And I don't really know anything about him, since all he ever talks about is how much he loves me and wants to come visit me. How do I get rid of this annoying guy who keeps thinking he has a chance after I have told him I just want to be friends?? (And I'm not sure we could even be friends, since we can't even have a conversation without him flirting with me!) I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I have tried to be nice and it doesn't seem to get through to him! Do I have to say something as rude as "Stop contacting me! We are never going to be together and I don't like you!" ?

@Julia I think you should give him an ultimatum: either he stops acting this way or you will never ever contact again.
Since you already tried to say it gently and it not worked, you need to be trenchant. He may still hope that you would 'give up' and return his feelings if he will be obtrusive long enough. So, although it sounds cruel, you need to crush it.

@Twin I guess that "The pain you feel is a proof you are still living" sentence won't cheer you up. However, I hope you will find your happiness either with him or someone else you fall in love.