Oh, think about the bright side, you can do plenty of stuff! Dude, you're alone at home and without work to do for a week! That's a no pants, pizza and loud music week, clearly!

Unless you live at a house, your neighbours will kill you.

Not that loud... xDDDD

Yum, I love pizza

I need to vent...
Don't...you don't even have to read this.
Just skip the crap and don't even bother.
It's pathetic.
I am pathetic.
And my whole family is no better for sticking up to me all the time and thinking I might be able to do something.
My aunt called me and gave me the lecture of how I am ruining my life and how I am doing nothing about it as if I don't already now that. She told me how I'm hurting my parents and how I'm just wasting my potential and I already know the first one, but wth is she talking about when she mentions potential. Sure, I was a very smart kid when I was little but that was SO 15 years ago... I'm not smart anymore. I know I am not smart... I don't feel smart. I don't even want to feel smart anymore. I just want nothing. People grow up and change. They change, whether they like it or not. And I grew up. And changed. For the worse. Nobody can alter that and I don't even know why the hell are they trying. I just wish they would leave me to destroy myself. But nobody will do that because of mother, since she loves me too much and I'll only make her sad if I destroy myself. Not like I'm not doing that already, but...
When I was little I always had the feeling that great things await me. It wasn't just one of those positive vibes and views of the future that you have. No. It's like when you wake up in the morning and you can tell what your day will be - good or bad. And it really turns out the way you felt it. I felt that way for my future. Well I don't anymore. That feeling is gone for who knows how long now.
My aunt told me I should come back to Montana, because in Sofia I'm not doing anything. Yes. Thank you. I have NOT noticed that until now. I don't wake up every morning wondering what the hell am I doing with my life and if I did something differently yesterday, than maybe today would be a little less bad. I don't wake up thinking how many loans I already have that I need to return and I'm not even 23 yet. And I most CERTAINLY don't wake up, wondering how can I be so worthless and do nothing with my life. Why would I even think about that. My life is rainbows and flowers!
I have something so many people didn't get to have and yet I am just wasting it away, doing nothing... I enjoy being worthless, didn't you know? When I was little, I always dreamed of being a useless human being when I grow up.

I know how that feels, I'm in a somehow similar situation myself. And I'm afraid I have no idea about how to solve it. So good luck, It's all I can say

Of course people will bother. We all care about eachother on shuu. Families are meant to worry about you. I know that for a fact, since my mom and sisters talk to me like every day. I don't think its good to put yourself down like that. Of course, you're smart, or you wouldn't even know how to type a response better than "I r hungy, u hungry 2?"

I think we're all destined for great things, we just have to grasp them. I know you want to do something with your life. So, what do you enjoy doing? Like me, I've always enjoyed learning what drugs can do the human body. Legal drugs, mind you. So, right now I'm taking college algebra to get into infomatics healthcare specialist.

Bleh, it might take me a few years since math is not my strong suit, but I'm pushing ahead, for myself and my family. I think with enough brainstorming and the internet for info, you can find something to do with your life. I hope my rambling helps, in a way and best of luck to you and remember not to give up, no matter how helpless the situtation looks. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel

Rock, Deoxys,

What I'm about to tell you is advice, not my words of "YOU MUST DO IT LIKE THIS AND YOU MUST DO IT NOW!!!"

When I was 23, I always read about the succesful people at my age while I was just a student in IT and haven't done anything in my life that was (for me) anything meaningful. I didn't have a job and spent my time playing World of Warcraft (clean now, Thank god).

However, I was depressed and hated myself because my partents and everyone around me was forcing me to get a job and not spend my time with games. I know that nothing just falls in your lap and reading that some 23 year old found something awesome and is making millions because of it isn't helping either.

The goal to do is see things positive and grasp the oppertunity you get. The hard part is the see the positive things, however, grasping oppertunities is a good shot. Go around and look for jobs in newspapers or job agencies. Maybe try and help out in the community, just so you can get some positivity from people around you. Maybe they can even help out finding a job for you.

But please Rock, do not think that the best way to solve your problems is "not waking up"( If I read this wrong, correct me).

If you need some more advice, feel free to PM me.

I'm studying IT myself, had been doing that for the last 3 years. Lost the first one and a half when switched to the new 'bolonia' grades (The new european [s]crap[/s] standard, not sure if that's the English name for it too), so I'm basically finishing the first year AGAIN now.

I can't really say I have a bad life, objectively speaking my life is amazing (Studying what I wanted where I wanted, mom pays for the rent of a small room and university, and have a small income doing little jobs fixing stuff that I can use to pay food and books, all I need in this life).

It's just that after 3 years of programming bullshit applications (In a way that would get you fired from any job) and studying maths, economics, laws and other slightly unrelated things, I've realised that the things I want to know aren't taught in any university in my country (Mainframe managing and social engineering are my preferences for an IT related job), but I can't leave and switch to another grade, because It would be a terrible waste of both time and money for me and my mother. You know, as macbeth said, 'I am in blood/ Stepped in so far that, should I wade no more,/ Returning were as tedious as go o’er.'. And as you can possibly imagine, I can't say I'm happy with my current situation. Even if I tried I couldn't get a job to pay for my studies (with over 5 million unemployed in the country they ask for a grade and 3 years of experience even to work on a supermarket), and I really feel like a leech for that. Thinking that my mother is working hard so I can study something that I have finished hating just kills me.

About what do I want to do: Since I was a child my dream has been to open a bookshop in a small town (In Spain or any English speaking country, preferably the second one given the current situation). You can imagine how difficult is to do that nowadays, with the decline of physical books, the small market share in a 50k habitant town (plus the competence) and the money you need to start a business like that. I've been thinking about it for years and maybe it could work with an online store with national shipping, but still I fail to see how could I manage to live from a bookshop. I still work on the business plan and other stuff in my free time, just for fun.

Anyway, who cares, I'll finish the grade and I'll surely finish working programming accounting applications 10 hours a day for the rest of my life like everyone else, who gives a ****? It's always nice to rant about it somewhere from time to time thought, sorry for the wall of text

Its not a wall of text, as long as you space it out, its easier to read. The idea of a bookstore is interesting, if you have good prices I could buy my books from you, instead of Amazon. I'm an avid reader, online and offline. I'm actually going to Books A Million tomorrow. I don't think its fruitless, who knows you might be very successful and we all need a place to rant, sometimes

@Demon: The problem is, you can't offer good prices unless you buy the stuff at good prices. and I've been talking with several publishers: they sell their books so you can earn just enough money to carry on (That's between 2 and 8€ profit for each new book sold). That's why lots of books have the price printed in the back, it's usually the price you MUST ask for it unless a) you sell metric tons of books each month (Only achieved by large bookshop chains and supermarkets or big stores, which don't lower the price even if they can because they know they have no competence in prices) or b) you can afford or you don't mind a very low income and profits (And noting how lots of businesses are held by more than one shareholders or business partners that's an unlikely measure to take).

It's all measured, and even if the prices are a rip off (around 10€ paperback and up to 30€ hard cover for a regular book) no one can afford to lower the prices of new books because in a bad month or two that could mean you're out of business.

There's something I've been thinking about tho, and it's the fact that you can get great deals with second hand books (At least that's what I do, most of my purchases are second hand books in ebay). In UK and US, as far as my research goes, there's always a place for second hand books, and if you manage to get them for low prices (Or for free) it's actually a good business. If you offer low second hand prices and low shipping costs (Or zero costs like some chinese stores) it would certainly be the best business idea ever. But again, the problem with it is that a) It's difficult to get books from people, even if they don't want them (At least here) and b)there is a near zero market share for second hand books in spain, for it's not a popular thing to consider. People here don't even consider buying them second hand. They always buy them new or either they take them from the library, and the same happens with giving away books. There is not a widespread second hand culture in this country I'm afraid, and that narrows the business a lot, if you consider that shipping them from spain to UK would be more expensive for the buyer than purchasing that same second hand book online in a UK store.

So, playing my D&D game, the party gets attacked in broad daylight by Nikki Kiren, a catfolk alchemist who knows how to use a rifle (No she's not based on the Mana Khemia character, TBH they're complete opposites). She works as both militia and volunteer legal enforcer in the port city.

The catch? It wasn't Nikki, it was a doppelganger, and in my setting a Doppelganger is several times more dangerous and more powerful than by the book, able to mimic the class abilities of those they mimic. During the fight, !Nikki takes some nasty hits, and immediately retreats, and the party takes down the rest of the doppelgangers who were with her (and running off one ratfolk with a gun who was real). The strix of the party (Humanoids with multiple avian traits, awesome race) went to pursue !Nikki, and saw her running down a nearby road.

The catch?

Previously, Nikki, not !Nikki, was fighting the !Strix who was a doppelganger, and in the Nikki vs !Strix fight, !Strix took to the skies to get some distance between the two. She was taking hostile action towards the real Strix who she thought was the doppelganger. The two fought, but even if Nikki is very powerful, the Strix was much stronger and quickly overpowered her. Nikki's diehard kicks in, and starts shooting back. Strix critical hits her with a nonlethal blow so hard it does lethal damage, knocking her out, and doing enough HP damage to bring her to -7, she dies at -12 but thankfully was patched up and is knocked spark out. She is dragged through town along with the plot.

tl;dr The party fought doppelgangers, so did an NPC, and they ended up clobbering the daylights out of the wrong one.

Meanwhile, !Nikki and !Strix are watching from afar trying to hold in their laughter at their plan of turning people against one another going so smoothly.

Rian Quenlin. Bastard Dungeon Master.

From my experience in roleplaying: If in doubt, kill everyone in the room. Always works.